From the moment that I decided this ride was going to happen for me (some 3 months ago), to the moment that I sit here now with 7 strangers, becoming more like family as each day passes, I haven't asked and sat or pondered why I was really doing this ride. All I really knew was that it must be done...I was feeling the itch to travel yet again.
After having almost 3 weeks of riding down now, the layers of distraction are starting to dissolve. Fast. There is no where to go to find other peoples problems, or to amuse myself with daily chores, work, or partying. There is nothing but plenty of time, pedaling, thinking about what I believe, how I perceive relationships I have or have neglected to have.
Every once in a while I will come back to that question. I guess my answer is I am here to jump into myself. To begin a process of occupying myself. I don't think I have had much control of myself in the past. But what does it mean to "find yourself"? Have people simply figured out certain equations and questioneirs to fill out and come up with an answer to all of your problems? (Obviously not..) How do people usually go about "finding themselves"?
God will become more significant. What that looks like will take a lifetime to discover I am sure. I do believe I make understanding (things in general) harder than it has to be. At this point, I have decided, God consists of the most beautiful things my eyes have seen, the most terribly fearful things I have laid eyes on and everything that is not so black and white.
What a profound journey and I feel that the evening you cycled to our site is proof of the importance of human interconnection; the realization of it; the joy, sadness and fear of its unknown power. I am always skirting around and playing with "finding myself " and so admire your quest. I look forward to reading your future posts. This one in particular sounds quite cathartic. see you on the road and safe travels!
ReplyDeleteNamaste,
Diane